Language School
Leaving the US was one of the most bittersweet moments I have ever experienced. So many hard goodbyes, many “what has my life come to?” moments, and definitely a couple of eye sweats. Saying goodbye to the people who have shaped me and helped me along my walk with the Lord was incredibly difficult. I am so unbelievably grateful for every relationship the Lord has placed in my life and for the ways He has used each person to help me get to this point. The hardest moment came when I said my final goodbye to my parents at the Des Moines airport. But as I boarded the plane, I was filled with so much peace, knowing that the Lord was in complete control of this entire journey.
I had a connecting flight in Houston with a two-hour layover, and I found myself sitting alone at a table contemplating my life choices. A friendly guy came up and asked if he could sit in the open seat across from me. Of course, I said yes. Then, in what may have been the ultimate leap of faith, I asked this complete stranger if he could watch my bags while I ran to the restroom. Thankfully, he didn’t steal anything while I was gone. When I got back, we started talking, and I found out that he was a deacon at a Catholic church. After talking with him for a while about how dope Jesus is, he asked where I was from. I told him, “Humboldt, Iowa,” and his eyes immediately lit up. He told me he was from Algona, Iowa (only about 30 minutes from my hometown). Out of all the people I could have sat next to in an airport halfway across the country, the Lord put me next to someone from back home. I couldn’t help but see it as a little God wink. It was such a small moment, but it calmed so many of my nerves and reminded me that even when I’m far from home and stepping into the unknown, the Lord is already there.
Josh, Hailey, and I arrived in Guatemala for our eight weeks of language school. I met the host family I would be staying with and was welcomed with open arms. There were four other people staying in the house, all from different parts of the world. Meeting people from other countries quickly became one of my favorite parts of being in Antigua. I started language school the very next day, and holy smokes, Spanish is hard. Trying to have even the most basic conversations with my teacher was pretty awkward. Most of the time, I had no idea what she was saying, so I would just smile, nod, and confidently say, “Sí,” hoping I had answered the right question. To make things even more intimidating, it was one on one teaching. There was absolutely no room to hide.
After finishing my first week, I felt like my head was going to explode. I quickly became overwhelmed and extremely discouraged, and the doubts started to creep in. For those of you who weren’t in my Spanish class in high school, let me make one thing very clear, I did not know Spanish. I still remember having to give a presentation in Spanish in front of my entire class. Let’s just say there was a lot of laughter, including plenty from me, because of how bad I was. So I knew Spanish school was going to be a struggle.
The feelings of doubt and insecurity continued through the first couple of weeks of class. Eventually, I realized that every time I sat in those thoughts, I was taking away from what God could do through this experience. I was trying to take control of the situation instead of trusting the slow journey the Lord was taking me on. Surprise, surprise, it looks like I still have some work to do on patience. I also noticed that those negative emotions became much stronger whenever I was focused on myself rather than the mission. When I redirected my thoughts away from my own struggles and toward the kids I would be serving, everything improved. My motivation, attitude, and confidence increased dramatically. I stopped thinking so much about how uncomfortable I felt and started thinking about why I was there in the first place. I knew that every word I learned, every conversation I stumbled through, and every frustrating moment was bringing me one step closer to being able to connect with and serve these kids.
The first couple of weeks were also filled with so much joy and excitement. I quickly built incredibly strong bonds with the other missionaries, Hailey, Josh, Carter, and Carole. Some bonds formed a little too quickly as Carter and I decided to buzz our hair to practice humility. We were blessed with many opportunities to explore the beautiful city of Antigua. From visiting incredible churches and chocolate factories to exploring Lake Atitlán and climbing an active volcano, there was never a shortage of adventure. Climbing the volcano was easily one of the coolest experiences I have ever had.
Our first day consisted of a four and a half hour hike to base camp. When we finally arrived, we couldn't see anything because we were engulfed by clouds. We ended up having to wait until the early morning to make our final climb up Fuego, the active volcano. We spent the rest of the night having great conversations, playing games, and laughing, lots and lots of laughing. Then, at 2:30 a.m., the alarm went off. It was time for the big hike. After another two hours of hiking in the dark, we finally reached the top of Fuego to watch it erupt. Standing there, watching an active volcano explode in front of us, was absolutely incredible. It was easily one of the coolest things I have ever seen, and without a doubt, one of the most unforgettable moments of the trip so far.
My favorite part about being here has been the incredible conversations the Lord has blessed me with. I’ve had so many opportunities to share the love of Jesus with people who have never experienced it before. Watching what the Lord can do in such a short amount of time has been truly incredible. The conversation that sticks out to me the most happened while talking with someone from Taiwan. At first, I was talking with others about Jesus, and I could see him in my peripheral vision, clearly intrigued by the conversation. Once I finished talking with the others, I asked him what his views on religion were. He told me that he was raised in a different religion that didn’t believe in an afterlife. He explained that he was taught that if you do good, good things will happen, and if you do bad, bad things will happen. I then had such an incredible opportunity to share the Good News of Jesus with him! I could see in his eyes a yearning for a love that only Jesus could give him. I can’t imagine the fear he must be living with, thinking that if he messes up, bad things will happen to him. Being able to introduce him to a merciful God was such a blessing.
I ask all of you to say a quick prayer for the people I have talked to and that the seeds planted in their hearts will grow, and that they will invite Jesus into their lives. Please pray for Marco, Jamie, Lin, George, Josh, Ziggy, and Zen.
I encourage anyone reading this to follow any nudge the Holy Spirit gives you. I understand that it can be scary to talk about Jesus with others, but you have no idea the impact it can have on someone’s soul. Jesus might be using you to reach someone else, and the only thing that might stop it is your hesitation or the “not right now” mindset. So many times, I haven’t followed a nudge because I was “tired,” “had to be somewhere,” or thought, “What if I get embarrassed?” When I step back and think about the magnitude of those situations, it makes me sick. The fact that I might be robbing someone of the opportunity to hear about Jesus for the first time simply because I was “tired” is something that really weighs on me.
It doesn’t matter how much you know about the Bible or how many counterarguments you know. If you step out in boldness, Jesus will guide every word if you let Him. One of the conversations I had here was with two very intelligent atheists. One of them brought up a point that I had no idea how to defend. Then, somehow, something really intelligent came out of my mouth, and in that moment, I knew it wasn’t me talking. I seriously said in my head, “Dang, that was good… thanks, Lord.”Don’t try to take control. Surrender every opportunity the Lord gives you, and He will take care of the rest.
“When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth.” - John 16:13
Tomorrow is my last day of language school. After that, we will head to a retreat where we’ll learn more about Finca del Niño and prepare our hearts for the journey ahead. Then on Tuesday the 29th we head to Honduras!! I ask that you continue to keep me and the other Missionaries in your prayers, especially for endurance. The next few months will be a big adjustment period, and I know there will be challenges along the way. I’m excited to see what the Lord has in store for us in Honduras!